About<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Ichiro Kishimi’s personal development book The Courage to Be Disliked: How to Free Yourself, Change Your Life, and Achieve True Happiness was published in 2013. The book, which was translated into English from the original Japanese, encourages us to stop caring what other people think of us and instead embrace and liberate our true selves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The book is well-known for its accessible content, which is based on the teachings of Alfred Adler, a nineteenth-century psychologist. Kishimi is a professor of educational and clinical psychology at Osaka’s Meiji School of Oriental Medicine and runs his own counseling practice in Kyoto. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

 <\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

Notable quotes<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

• \u201cDo Not Live to Satisfy the Expectations of Others\u201d<\/li>
• \u201cA healthy feeling of inferiority is not something that comes from comparing oneself to others; it comes from one\u2019s comparison with one\u2019s ideal self.\u201d<\/li>
• \u201cThe courage to be happy also includes the courage to be disliked. When you have gained that courage, your interpersonal relationships will all at once change into things of lightness.\u201d<\/li>
• \u201cIt\u2019s that you are disliked by someone. It is proof that you are exercising your freedom and living in freedom and a sign that you are living in accordance with your own principles.\u201d<\/li>
• \u201cIf one really has a feeling of contribution, one will no longer have any need for recognition from others. Because one will already have the real awareness that \u201cI am of use to someone,\u201d without needing to go out of one\u2019s way to be acknowledged by others. In other words, a person who is obsessed with the desire for recognition does not have any community feeling yet, and has not managed to engage in self-acceptance, confidence in others, or contribution to others.\u201d<\/li>
• \u201cYour unhappiness cannot be blamed on your past or your environment. And it isn\u2019t that you lack competence. You just lack courage. One might say you are lacking in the courage to be happy.\u201d<\/li>
• \u201cWe cannot alter objective facts. But subjective interpretations can be altered as much as one likes. And we are inhabitants of a subjective world.\u201d<\/li>
• \u201cNo experience is in itself a cause of our success or failure. We do not suffer from the shock of our experiences\u2014the so-called trauma\u2014but instead, we make out of them whatever suits our purposes. We are not determined by our experiences, but the meaning we give them is self-determining.\u201d<\/li>
• \u201cNo matter what has occurred in your life up to this point, it should have no bearing at all on how you live from now on.\u2019 That you, living in the here and now, are the one who determines your own life.\u201d<\/li>
• \u201cIf one really has confidence in oneself, one doesn\u2019t feel the need to boast. It\u2019s because one\u2019s feeling of inferiority is strong that one boasts. One feels the need to flaunt one\u2019s superiority all the more. There\u2019s the fear that if one doesn\u2019t do that, not a single person will accept one \u201cthe way I am.\u201d This is a full-blown superiority complex.\u201d<\/li>
• \u201cUnless one is unconcerned by other people\u2019s judgments, has no fear of being disliked by other people, and pays the cost that one might never be recognized, one will never be able to follow through in one\u2019s own way of living. That is to say, one will not be able to be free.\u201d<\/li>
• \u201cYour life is not something that someone gives you, but something you choose yourself, and you are the one who decides how you live.\u201d<\/li>
• \u201cThree things are needed at this point: \u201cself-acceptance,\u201d \u201cconfidence in others,\u201d and \u201ccontribution to others.\u201d<\/li>
• \u201cOne has to stand on one\u2019s own two feet and take one\u2019s own steps forward with the tasks of interpersonal relations. One needs to think not, What will this person give me? but rather, What can I give to this person? That is a commitment to the community.\u201d<\/li>
• \u201cWhy is it that people seek recognition from others? In many cases, it is due to the influence of reward-and-punishment education.\u201d<\/li>
• \u201cLoneliness is having other people and society and community around you, and having a deep sense of being excluded from them.\u201d<\/li>
• \u201cA way of living in which one is constantly troubled by how one is seen by others is a self-centered lifestyle in which one\u2019s sole concern is with the \u201cI.\u201d<\/li>
• \u201cNone of us live in an objective world, but instead in a subjective world that we ourselves have given meaning to. The world you see is different from the one I see, and it\u2019s impossible to share your world with anyone else.\u201d<\/li>
• \u201cYou are the only one who can change yourself.\u201d<\/li>
• \u201cThe reason that so many people don\u2019t really feel happy while they\u2019re building up their success in the eyes of society is that they are living in competition.\u201d<\/li><\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

  About Ichiro Kishimi’s personal development book The Courage to Be Disliked: How to Free Yourself, Change Your Life, and Achieve True Happiness was published in 2013. The book, which was translated into English from the original Japanese, encourages us to stop caring what other people think of us and instead embrace and liberate our true… <\/p>\n

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