Lori Gottlieb is a psychotherapist who began seeing one five years ago when the guy she had planned to marry abruptly broke up with her, destroying her sense of the now and the future. “I had the same reaction as everyone else who I told at the time: ‘This guy’s a jerk!’ ‘You escaped with your life!’ Gottlieb elaborates.
“However, once I begin coming to therapy, I begin to see — or am forced to recognize — the problem, as well as my role in it.”
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In her latest book, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, Gottlieb talks about her experiences as a psychotherapist in treatment. She says she assumed she’d just need a few sessions to get through her crisis, but she ended up staying much longer — and learning a lot about herself in the process. Therapy, according to Gottlieb, maybe unpleasant — but that’s simply a part of the process: “When they leave, they expect to feel better. And sometimes you do, sometimes you don’t. You’ll talk about difficult things from time to time, but only if it makes things easier for you.”
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Inspiring Talks by Lori Gottlieb
Interview
Notable quotes
- “I think that therapy at any age, helps people to relate better to themselves and to the people around them,” she says. “It helps them to examine the way that they live their lives and take responsibility for what’s not working and also for what they can change.”
- “We can’t have change without loss, which is why so often people say they want to change but nonetheless stay exactly the same.”
- “We tend to think that the future happens later, but we’re creating it in our minds every day. When the present falls apart, so does the future we had associated with it. And having the future taken away is the mother of all plot twists.”
- “But part of getting to know yourself is to unknow yourself—to let go of the limiting stories you’ve told yourself about who you are so that you aren’t trapped by them, so you can live your life and not the story you’ve been telling yourself about your life.”
- “There’s no hierarchy of pain. Suffering shouldn’t be ranked, because pain is not a contest.”
- “Relationships in life don’t really end, even if you never see the person again. Every person you’ve been close to lives on somewhere inside you. Your past lovers, your parents, your friends, people both alive and dead (symbolically or literally)–all of them evoke memories, conscious or not.”
- “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” Девушка постоянно отправляла бойфренду записи своей страстной мастурбации
- “Follow your envy – it shows you what you want.”
- “peace. it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. it means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.”
- “You can have compassion without forgiving. There are many ways to move on, and pretending to feel a certain way isn’t one of them.”
- “It’s impossible to get to know people deeply and not come to like them.”